On the Make

Man on right: "I'm a paragon of the sexual revolution, and I'm totally gonna nail these old broads."
Woman in middle: "I'm going to make myself a gin and tonic. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to make myself a gin."
Woman on left: "I haven't been this smashed since they repealed Prohibition. Maintain, Gladys, maint...HURRRGGGLAAHHH!"

Leafblower

Dear Maple Leafs,

You should sign me to your team. I can bodycheck the shit out of people. Plus I have my own uniform and a purse full of pucks. Be in touch, hugs and kisses, toodles!!

Bruce

Trick or Treat!

"What do you mean my costume is 'a bit over the top'?"

You know how when you hear something that's so funny you and your friends keep repeating it until it's no longer funny, but you then you keep on repeating it until it becomes funny again in an ironic way? This picture is like that, only substitute "racist" for "funny".

Liberty Bell

With an elaborate plot that involved 1) kidnapping babies, 2) stealing the Liberty Bell, 3) escaping on a biplane, and 4) a scowling, fedora'd henchman, Herbert Schwank won the Most Ridiculous Crime of the Year Award in 1919.

It's worth clicking on this picture to get a larger view so you can admire the mustaches these two ne'r-do-wells are sporting.